So two weeks ago I dyed my hair a mid-tone red. It has some high and low reds in the mix and I love it! Tell me what you think
Some time ago I decided that I would blog about forgiveness and letting go. As I learn myself and try to understand forgiveness within my own life, I share it with you. Forgiveness for me would be letting go of grudges, ill-feelings and hurt that comes with the disappointment of actions of loved ones that offend and hurt us. We all as humans have been hurt by another in a way that has left us with the burden of negative feelings. Regardless of how it came about being hurt by a loved one can be anything, something so small as a personal “jab” or something as disappointing as a devastating lie can leave us with the emotions of hate, anger and bitterness. Getting over those feelings and coping and understanding them is true forgiveness.
For me the main reason I am trying to forgive and move past negative situations is because I’m trying to become a more positive understanding person. Becoming a mother has changed me in a way that I feel I need to constantly seek a deeper understanding in all areas of my life. I’m discovering where some of my personal issues started and how I can get past and overcome them. I’ve forgiven many things in my life but I’m still a work in progress there’s just some things that seem impossible for me to leave behind. Its hard for me to let go of resentment because I feel that the resentment becomes the counter action to whatever is done to me and I feel as though I always need a counter action as a sense of defense.
Holding a grudge and having resentment is so easy letting it go becomes the impossible. What I’ve started to do is take note off all instances that I feel as though I’ve been wronged that I haven’t gotten past and of how letting go will benefit me. On my end I’m left with the negative feelings I need to get rid of them. Holding onto the pain instead of forgiving is burying me and I’m only learning why I should let go now. For a peace of mind, being a happier more joyous person overall and most of all trusting loving and caring for my loved ones holds more of an significance than holding on to the affliction. With forgiveness you refuse to suffer with the hand you’ve been dealt instead you are understanding and conquering and coping.
As I said earlier I am not perfect ( I know hard to believe lol) and I’m still learning. As I grow I hope you can do so with me. Regardless of the pain don’t hold on to it. The pain you hold on to becomes you eventually. Understand, Accept and Move On.
Yesterday I celebrated my very first mother’s day and it was such a sureal feeling. Although my son is almost 6 months (times flying) I still have moments where I can’t believe I’m a mother….I can’t belive God has blessed me and given me the ability to bring another life into this world. As I reflect I realize that becoming a mother has brought me so far. I’ve learned so much about myself while learning and getting to understand my son. I gave birth to him and in some ways it has been a rebirth in my own life and within myself. The love I feel when I look at my son is a new and deeper love each and everytime…Its really difficult for me to explain all I know is that I am extremely extremely blessed to have my son and for him to be simply perfect. Being a mother is the hardest yet easiest thing I’ve ever had to do and every moment is worth it. I want to wish a Happy Mothers day to all my Mama readers and my own mother on this special day, as well as to all the women who struggle with infertility…the road is a long road ahead but the sun always rises in the morning.
(Pictured: My son and I shortly before Mothers Day Dinner at my house)