Tag Archives: love

Don’t Let Your Breakup Get The Best Of You

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via email

Hey porsha, I need some advice on seeking for a husband. My sister is getting married this fall and a few girlfriends have recently gotten married or have a wedding pending in the near future and I’ve found myself in a bit of a rut you see I’ve broken up with my boyfriend of over three years this past summer and I’ve been lonely ever since and it has made me a bit jealous of the people who are in happy relationships in my life. Since my breakup I find myself being unhappy at times and most of all feeling lonely! I had no urge to date but I need to start I don’t want this breakup to be the reason that I’m single at 50 (lol) I need some help where do you recommend I look for a new beau or which dating sites are good.

-lonely for life

First of all you can not let your recent breakup control your destiny and the direction of your (love) life. We all go through failed relationships and at the demise of a relationship we sometimes beat up on ourselves and try to take the blame for what wasn’t our fault to begin with. Just know that your relationship happened, it ended, however your life didn’t. You have to look into yourself and think of all the things that you want out of a relationship and what you have to bring to the table as well, why would someone love you? Do you love yourself? Maybe you have lost touch of the fact of how awesome you are and all that is amazing about you. You CAN NOT let your breakup dim your light. Spend time with yourself, try new things, go new places in other words “date yourself” get to love yourself and only then can you anticipate love from another human being. Self-love is the best love. Look around at the happy couples in your life congratulate your sister, get her a pre-wedding gift, be happy for your friends and celebrate this amazing time in their lives. Live through love and it will be everywhere in your life. Once you get to you, everything else will fall into place then you can welcome a new relationship. Stay positive and good luck! I’m always here if you need an ear.

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Trusting The Cheater

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Hi Porsha. I have a problem my gf cheated on me about six months ago and did not even tell me I found out on my own and she was really sorry and we decided to make things work between us as we been together for going on three years. I love her more than anything but I have a feeling she may cheat again or she is already doing it because the same actions that she was doing before she is doing them again. I want to get to the bottom of it before I ask her to marry me but I do not want to ask her and make her feel like I do not trust her or love her. Please how do I ask her or find out the truth”

Hey there,
thanks for the email..for starters you seem like a nice guy and I mean everything Im about to say in the nicest way possible- to begin with why did it take you finding out on your own for her to confess if she was genuinely sorry; do you even know if it was more than once with more than one person, do you even care? Why have you decided to continue this relationship you say that you love her more than anything and if that is the case you deserve to know the truth about where you stand in this relationship. Do not make the time you’ve been together stop you from accepting the facts and moving on..its easier said than done but time heals all wounds. You have to sit down with your lady and let her know how you feel- be honest let her know that her past actions have left you feeling insecure & unsure of your future together. The simple fact that you say she is now acting suspicious can mean she is up to her no good ways or that you are unable to forgive her, either way you have to look within yourself to figure out what you want to do from here. If you suspect she is cheating on you, don’t beat around the bush when she probably has someone stroking hers…find out the truth! You also mention that you are considering marriage -____- don’t even think about it until you come to the honest truth about you’re relationship and you are able to let go of the resentment and you will then be able to plant the seeds of trust and watch it bloom. Rushing into a marriage won’t solve the infidelity issues it will make it worse in the long run as marriage will amplify the feelings of betrayal and insecurity you now have.
Heres the main problem with cheating and continuing a relationship here after – the person who is cheated on becomes the victim by force being cheated on makes you feel small and helpless as you were not in a position to prevent this hurt because you didn’t even know it was happening what you must to in order to move on is to refuse to be a victim of your partners actions. Make her own up to her actions and let her know how she has now made you feel and your worries in the relationship and you can work from there.
Good Luck!!

My Greatest Blessing!

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On November 28th 2012, After over 48 hours of labour I gave birth to my perfect baby boy, Rajid. The moment I saw him my life changed forever. Becoming a Mother is single handedly the most incredible event of my life. Although my son was born over 5 weeks premature and his hospital stay after his birth was disappointing to say the least I wouldn’t change it for the world. Love at its finest!

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Back Like I Never Left! !

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Hey my luvs!

Okay first off I need to apologize for leaving you guys for almost a year now (I know, I know) but I got caught up with work, life, and most importantly I’m a Mommy now!! Yes, yes my son is a bit
over 3 months and he’s my everything words just can’t explain. We got a lot to catch up on and I’m uber excited for the Re-Launch of my blog.

Let me know what topics I should discuss & what ya’ll wanna hear!!

1Luv

Dear Porsha

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Here goes nothing, for those who are new to my blog, you can send me an email to Porsha-j@live.ca where I answer questions about relationships,fashion, life issues and whatever else you need help with. We have a question from “Sarah”

 

Hey Porsha,

for the last 6 months Ive been having problems with trusting my boyfriend we been in a relationship for the last 2 years, i caught him cheating on me before and recently I found pictures of another female in his cell and texts with him flirting with girls and saying hes going to hook up with them when i talk to him about it he brushes me off. I love him and wan this to work wat should i say to him?

 

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What should you say to him? I’m not sure what you should say to him other than to fuck off and its over. This “boyfriend” of yours obviously doesn’t love you or care about your feelings. For him to have already cheated on you and continue to flirt and make plans to cheat on you with other girls it’s quite clear that he cares only about himself and you shouldn’t waste your time or cause yourself any further heartache. You sound completely ridiculous saying that he “brushes you off” when you approach him with these issues, what you need to do is brush him off and keep it moving. he’s not going to change and you’ll never trust him and without trust there’s no relationship. Love yourself enough to let go.

Best of luck to Sarah and hit me up to let me know how it goes.